Why Singapore bloggers cannot become President

Cowboy Caleb: He die die won’t give face to anybody.

Mr Brown : Too busy keeping the blogging universe together. Plus must go jogging. Plus, NTD-fan thinks he’s secretly training his two kids to be Jedi masters.

Mr Miyagi : Too busy holding his private erectio election with his harem of chio-bu’s. Plus, the Istana probably doesn’t have enough walls to hang all their pictures.

Agooga : Too cheem.

Adri : ADCs won’t let her travel by budget .

Kenny Sia : Must get citizenship first, then maybe got chance .

Xiaxue : Will want to paint the the Istana gates pink, and fill the lawn with lorises, and build a DJ console .

SillyCelly : No smoking allowed inside the Istana.

(Anyway, Xiaxue and SillyCelly will probably want to hold ZoukOut at the Istana.)

The Tomorrow Editors : Because Singapore is not ruled by junta .

Antrix : Because you’re not Aung San Suu Kyi.

Of course, if they want to defend their candidacy, they’re most welcome to make like Cowboy and Molly Meek and post their own manifestos. NTD-fan shamelessly promises to link them from here.